


Thanatophobia: A fear of Death

by RomytheRed



Series: How to Live With Dying: A series of Short Stories [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Chara does their best to help, Child Death, Death Equals Reset, Frisk Uses Sign Language, Frisk has the beginnings of what may become PTSD, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-10 23:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5605651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RomytheRed/pseuds/RomytheRed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You wake up, on a bed of golden flowers.</p>
<p>Screaming.</p>
<hr/>
<p>For Frisk, death was supposed to be an escape from the pain.</p>
<p>Instead, all it's been is more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thanatophobia: A fear of Death

You wake up on a bed of golden flowers.

Screaming.

Your breathing is quick and shallow, your heart beating so loud you feel like you can hear it.

All you can think about is pain, blood, _pain, Pain, PAIN, IT HURTS SO-_

  


_HEY! HEY! FRISK! Calm down! Hey! Listen to me. Listen! TEN! Nine! Eight..._

The voice in your head that is not you starts to count, and you force yourself to focus on the numbers. _Sev...en,_ you force yourself to think, counting along with them.

_Si..x... Fi-five. Four._ Your breathing starts to slow. Your heart stops pounding quite so hard. _Three. Two..._

_...One._ The voice finishes. _You a little better now?_

You nod.

You hear a relieved sigh, and the voice - the other person who is with you - Chara, they said their name was - materializes their, image? Of sorts. You feel a little relieved to be able to see them, and for them to see you.

They look at you with concern. _Frisk,_ They say, _It's getting worse, isn't it?_

You look away, but you know that they can tell anyways. How couldn't it be getting worse? You _died. **again.**_

Part of you hates how weak you are about this. It's not like you came to this mountain hoping to find what you did, after all. You weren't even expecting to survive the fall. And honestly, that was fine, it was how it should have been. You should've hit the bottom, and never woken up.

But you did. You did wake up. And you seemed relatively unharmed. So you started to explore, because who wouldn't, really? You met that - that flower. Flowery? No, Flowey. And they'd attacked you, tried to kill you. Honestly, you wouldn't have minded too much at the time. But you were saved, instead. By that motherly lady, Toriel. And that was when you realized Chara was here, with you. They didn't really have much to say, at first. Neither of you did, outside of a few exchanged jokes about objects that were lying around.

Until it happened the first time, at least.

  


Until you _died._

  


You can't quite remember what killed you the first time. Maybe a Froggit, or one of those stupid vegetables?

You weren't sure what had happened. Honestly, you thought it was just some kind of morbid dream. So you got up and went through the door, into the next room.

And there was Flowey, again. They tried to kill you - again. Toriel saved you - again. Everything was the same. You didn't understand. What was going on?

Then Chara spoke up. They were as confused as you were, really. They could've sworn you'd gone inside the Ruins already, that you'd at least gotten to the second room before, so... why were you here now?

  


The First time, you didn't understand. The Second time, you were both confused. By the third time, you were both starting to understand.

By the fifth time, you had realized what was happening. When you died, you woke up, back there. On that bed of golden flowers. Good as new! But with all the memories, all the knowledge, all the experiences that you'd had still right there. Inside you.

Magic bullets pierce through your shaking soul.

By the tenth time, you reached Toriel's house for the first time.

Fire burns you, and burns, and burns.

By the fifteenth, you managed to convince her to let you leave, and the memories were becoming more vivid.

Ice stabs into your arms. Swords cut your legs. Axes dig deep into your shoulders.

By the twenty-fifth time, you reached snowdin, and you couldn't sleep properly anymore.

When you'd slept in the bed at Toriel's house, just like you did every time, you'd experienced the pain and blood - both yours, of course - over, and over, and over again. Chara woke you up when you started screaming.

Bones shatter yours.

By the fortieth time, you'd convinced Papyrus to be your friend for the first time, and you started to see blood just by closing your eyes.

A sweaty, muscly fist smashes into you. A song tears at your SOUL.

By the fiftieth time, you'd reached Waterfall, and you always woke up screaming, now.

A jet of soapy water drowns you. A strange creature crushes you in a hug. A jelatinous mass devours you.

By the seventy-fifth time, you met Undyne, face to face.

A spear pierces your chest. Then another. And another. And another, and another...

Seventy-Six.

You lost count, after that.

  


_Hey. Frisk._

You look up from your morbid remembrance at the sound of Chara's voice. You're glad, honestly. You were starting to feel sick.

_What is it?_ You sign at them.

They look nervous. _Frisk, you - you don't have to keep doing this,_ They say. _You don't have to keep - you know - its. You could stay with m- _Toriel,_ and, like. Be happy with her and -_

You hold up your hand to stop them.

_No. I don't want to stop. I_ can't _stop. Not after.... everything._ You relay.

They look at you for a long, silent moment. You can't really judge their expression, but you think they seem, worried? Affectionate? You're not entirely sure.

  


_Alright,_ Chara says, finally, nodding. _Just - try to be careful, ok? I don't - I don't like seeing you getting hurt like this, alright?_

_Yeah,_ you tell them, as you force yourself up off the ground.

Honestly, you're scared. You never thought you would be, but you're horrified - terrified, really - of going out and dying again. But at the same time, you refuse to let that stop you. Even if this messes you up forever, you - you just want to help these people. These ridiculous, incredible, kind monster people.

You don't really know why. But you won't let that stop you, either.


End file.
